The changing leaves make my heart scream
The late nights, the early wakes, the ash and smoke, and the monotony of it all. It really breaks a person. It strips them of everything and leaves them with nothing more but this empty sense of fulfillment. And it hurts so much and cuts so deep and everyday feels like some ironic type of déjà vu. And the irony is in the mediocrity of repetitiveness. You just want to break out of it, especially while you are laying on the bathroom floor, starring up at all the mold forming on the ceiling because of those hot showers, and you just want to figure out where you are going and where you’ve been. But most of all you realize that you have no recollection of how you got there. This being because your only defense against the constant pain is forgetting. And all the times you cant pull yourself out of bed, you realize how you crave the pain and the solitude of it because it has become all you know. we are creatures of habit, and this is our greatest downfall. We accept the way things go and we accept it as truth. I can say, I never feel fully awake